Learning to be frugal but not feel poor

Learning to be frugal but not feel poor.

Learning to be independent and rely on myself.

These have been the two major lessons that are represented by Canyon Cottage, my home for nearly three years.  This home served as the transition home from broken and scared to independent and confident, from divorced woman to successful career woman. The home I left behind me today.Image

One of my biggest challenges is to say goodbye with grace. I tend to burn bridges in favor of the new rather than respect the bridges that have helped me traverse turbulent waters and have helped to make me what I am. I am learning to welcome all of my facets into one being. It’s jerky ride to be certain.

Jeep said it would take four days to be cleared of the house, I didn’t listen to what I thought was his negative projection. Damn it if he didn’t prove to be right. In the end, he was far more sentimental remembering the good times.

I remembered the anxiety about rent and grocery money, the regret of showing my worries to my boys, the fights over one bathroom or who would live in the renovated garage, cold in the winter and hot in the summer.  I remembered the flood I came home to after my dad’s funeral and I wanted to run.

But I forced myself to look at the rosebushes and the basil plants and remember the good times. I remembered the day I invited my favorite women to my new house and the talismans they put on my broom that I would use to sweep the first home I had lived in alone. I remembered learning how to fix things on my own. I remembered the good talks my neighbor Pilar and I had.

In this home I learned to breathe through life’s ebbs and flows. I learned to stretch a dollar and feel good about it. I learned to make the most of what I have and release shame for not having everything I wanted in every moment I want it. I learned to be strong.

And now it’s time to fly…

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